| JaSonTroNic

A Small Gesture

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd. "I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends in the tomorrow), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!". There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Dang boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys who really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I did and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks, "he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years, your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give him or her. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at me smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth. Never underestimate the power of you actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life.

8 Ways People Break Their Own Hearts

1. They choose safety instead.
Safe love is comfortable love, but we all know there are greater things. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with choosing safety, I’m just saying you’ll wake up one day realizing you robbed yourself of something extraordinary; something that was right in front of you all along.

2. They avoid the person they really love because they don’t want to get hurt again.
I am of the belief that the greatest loves we experience are the ones who do hurt us, the ones who meant enough that they have the ability to, the ones who uproot us and make us different, or just more ourselves than ever before. I believe that love is transformative, and that shying away from that is one of the greatest ways we sell ourselves short.

3. They close themselves off to the love they deserve.
Sometimes we meet people who are so absolutely wonderful that we can’t help but wonder why they would want anything to do with the likes of some ordinary person like us. But love is not a sport or a competition. There’s no hierarchy and there certainly isn’t any legitimate, but infamously perpetuated concept of “leagues:” the unwritten rules of who can and can’t be together.

4. They forget that the only love that really matters is what we have for ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry I had to go here, but there’s no way I could leave this out. That aforementioned brokenness that usually follows some sweeping passionate ecstatic bit of love is only the result of the fact that we needed someone else to fill us up. Something that, though challenging, we are capable of doing ourselves.

5. They fall into the trap of thinking that there will be nobody else who makes them feel the way that one person did.
When it comes to the bare end of things, the truth is that there are thousands of people in the world that you will be able to love, and whom will love you in return. You just haven’t met them. In fact, you run in circles around each other but stay within your lines, and so they never cross.

6. They get so caught up in the love they have that they neglect all the other wonderful things there are to enjoy.
Nothing should ever be your everything, unless you’re willing to take the risk of that leaving your life and not having anything.

7. They don’t love someone the way they should be loved.
Love is work. It’s dedication and time and commitment and we know these things are difficult in theory but we trick ourselves into believing we can maintain them, until something that honestly threatens them comes along. You are the one who will end up broken when you commit to the good and not the bad, and think that you’ve done the job right.

8. They rather their lives with excuses of why they shouldn’t choose love right now.
Look, people. It’s now or never. Enough with the “should be’s.” Just love who you love, and live on, and I was really close to saying “be yourself” until I realized I was quoting Macklemore. Anyway. The right love will come when you need it to, and it will help you fill the holes you’re worried won’t let you love someone. But the difference is, the right kind of love will help you fill them, it won’t do that for you. Let it, even though it’s scary, and even though you’re unsure. In the future, you’ll look back and realize you became better from the times you tried, and you’re still kicking yourself from the times you didn’t.

10 Steps To A Healtier Relationship

#10 Expectations
We all have a keen habit of expecting a lot from our partners, which is wrong. We should expect as much as they can give us. Keeping a firm grasp on expectations and keeping them close to reality is what makes a relationship strong and makes your partner more comfortable with you and happier to be with you because you don't burden them with stuff he/she has no control over.

#9 Cuddle More
It's one of the best features of a relationship. Cuddle your partner every chance you get. We are going to write an entirely separate article on cuddling because it has a lot of benefits. Be more intimate with each other, cuddle them, hug them, kiss them, be as romantic as you can with them. True love knows no bounds.

#8 Heart To Heart
Every couple goes through arguments and fights. We can't always agree on everything, we are human. It is wise to have a heart to heart after every bad patch you two go through. Just sit somewhere quiet and talk about what happened. Don't go to your friends for help and don't let them go to their's. You are supposed to live a life together you should be able to fix problems using each other not everyone else in the world. Having a heart to heart conversation with your lover will guarantee a long-lasting and loving relationship.

#7 Be There In The Dark Times
Love isn't just about being there for each other when you're both happy, it's about being each other's support and strength when everything isn't going well. If your partner is going through a dark phase, a rough patch, a family situation or anything that can traumatize them, be as supportive as you can. Do whatever you can to make them happy. Forget your issues, forget your arguments, forget that one time they made you sad and just be there for them. They will love you forever and respect you more if you forget yourself and help them come out of that dark phase smiling.

#6 Respect
Respect is the second most important part of a relationship after trust. There should be a great deal of respect between you two for each other. You should be supportive. You should respect the way they live, the friends they have, the decisions they make, as long as you're sure they're not doing anything wrong you should respect everything about them. No two people can be the same, don't try to be the same, it's fun when you're different. You get to learn more and more about each other everyday. Respect!

#5 Complete Trust Is Key
The most vital part of every relationship is the element of Trust. It can make or break any relationship within seconds. Trust is a very valuable jewel, once lost can never be brought back in the same way again. You love your partner because you trust them with all your life. They should do the same for you. Never tell someone you trust them if you don't. There is no better feeling in this world than to know that the person you love trusts you more than anything and they can do anything for you. Keep the trust alive.

#4 Be Each Other's Strength
When you love someone, you love them for who they are. You love their position in life and you do whatever you can to make their position stronger and better. Once you let the element of jealousy come in between you and your partner, you won't be able to make anyone grow into a better person. If they have a better job than you, be happy about it rather than being competitive. Listen to them, understand their problems, be open with them. Achieve your dreams in life with their help and make them achieve their goals.

#3 More Alone Time
All couples need sufficient alone-time for each other to get to know each other better. It may be fun hanging out with your friends along with your partner but it should be even more fun for you hanging out with your partner alone. Give them the time they deserve. Spend entire days doing what both of you love to do. It is also important not to talk about others during your alone-time, talk about each other.

#2 What Past?
We often let our past baggage take the best of our love. When you're with someone who keeps you very happy, forget the past. Don't ask them about their past if you trust them and don't talk about yours either. Once one of you starts digging in the past, a whole pandora's box will open up and you two will not be at peace until one of you gives up. Forget the past, live in the present and work on the future.

#1 Don't Fight Back During Arguments
It's one of the most destructive things to do during an argument - fighting back with all your power. During arguments, one of you needs to be "The calm one" and make the argument stop by either apologizing if it's your fault or by being funny or romantic but it is very wise to never fight back. Two angry people can never come to peace with each other without saying a lot of stuff they would later regret. If your partner is angry, do whatever you can to calm them down and control your anger, it's not going to be easy but it'll make them love you more.

White Peddle

Many hundreds of years ago in a small Italian town, a merchant had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the merchant’s beautiful daughter so he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the merchant’s debt if he could marry the daughter. Both the merchant and his daughter were horrified by the proposal.

The moneylender told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty bag. The girl would then have to pick one pebble from the bag.If she picked the black pebble, she would become the moneylender’s wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the merchant’s garden. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick her pebble from the bag.

What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her? Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the moneylender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

“Oh, how clumsy of me,” she said. “But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked.” Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution, sometimes we have to think about them in a different way.