Safe love is comfortable love, but we all know there are greater things. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with choosing safety, I’m just saying you’ll wake up one day realizing you robbed yourself of something extraordinary; something that was right in front of you all along.
2. They avoid the person they really love because they don’t want to get hurt again.
I am of the belief that the greatest loves we experience are the ones who do hurt us, the ones who meant enough that they have the ability to, the ones who uproot us and make us different, or just more ourselves than ever before. I believe that love is transformative, and that shying away from that is one of the greatest ways we sell ourselves short.
3. They close themselves off to the love they deserve.
Sometimes we meet people who are so absolutely wonderful that we can’t help but wonder why they would want anything to do with the likes of some ordinary person like us. But love is not a sport or a competition. There’s no hierarchy and there certainly isn’t any legitimate, but infamously perpetuated concept of “leagues:” the unwritten rules of who can and can’t be together.
4. They forget that the only love that really matters is what we have for ourselves.
Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry I had to go here, but there’s no way I could leave this out. That aforementioned brokenness that usually follows some sweeping passionate ecstatic bit of love is only the result of the fact that we needed someone else to fill us up. Something that, though challenging, we are capable of doing ourselves.
5. They fall into the trap of thinking that there will be nobody else who makes them feel the way that one person did.
When it comes to the bare end of things, the truth is that there are thousands of people in the world that you will be able to love, and whom will love you in return. You just haven’t met them. In fact, you run in circles around each other but stay within your lines, and so they never cross.
6. They get so caught up in the love they have that they neglect all the other wonderful things there are to enjoy.
Nothing should ever be your everything, unless you’re willing to take the risk of that leaving your life and not having anything.
7. They don’t love someone the way they should be loved.
Love is work. It’s dedication and time and commitment and we know these things are difficult in theory but we trick ourselves into believing we can maintain them, until something that honestly threatens them comes along. You are the one who will end up broken when you commit to the good and not the bad, and think that you’ve done the job right.
8. They rather their lives with excuses of why they shouldn’t choose love right now.
Look, people. It’s now or never. Enough with the “should be’s.” Just love who you love, and live on, and I was really close to saying “be yourself” until I realized I was quoting Macklemore. Anyway. The right love will come when you need it to, and it will help you fill the holes you’re worried won’t let you love someone. But the difference is, the right kind of love will help you fill them, it won’t do that for you. Let it, even though it’s scary, and even though you’re unsure. In the future, you’ll look back and realize you became better from the times you tried, and you’re still kicking yourself from the times you didn’t.
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